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We’ve all been there. We have been judged by our self or others and it made us feel like a bad mom. People can say anything from you made the wrong decision by allowing your child to have that surgery, you shouldn’t try to get your child with Spina Bifida to walk, you shouldn’t take your children to school during Coronavirus, etc. You name and we’ve dealt with it. We are harsher with ourselves. We constantly beat ourselves up and think we caused our child’s disability.
Let me tell you something, you are NOT a bad mom. God gave you your children because you were meant to be their mom. Their disability is NOT your fault. Stop feeling bad about it.
Here are 7 reasons you are not a bad mom:
1. You know your child inside and out
You know your child better than anyone. All of the Judge Judy’s sitting on the sidelines don’t know your children. YOU do. They aren’t up all night because your child is in the hospital or because your child can’t sleep. You are your child’s person. You know them. You stand on the sidelines and fight for them and advocate them. This is reason number one you AREN’T a BAD MOM.
2. You are tired, but you keep going
Even though you are tired, you keep going. Even though you got about 2 hours of sleep on a conservative estimate, you are still going. Even though you are tired from driving about 25,000 miles a year running your child around to appointments, you still show up. Even though you want to sit down and veg out on Netflix when you get home, you keep going. You are resilient and persevere through everything.
3. You are in love with your children
You love your children and would lay down your life for them if it came to that.
4. You advocate and fight for your children
You advocate and fight for your children sometimes daily. You make sure they live in a just society. You stand up to people to make sure your child is treated like their peers. You have no problem standing up for your child when you feel like someone is discriminating against them.
5. You research countless ways to help them
You research so much your friends call you Dr. Google. LOL! You spend so much time figuring out what treatments or therapies would help your child. You are always keeping an ear out for a grant, program, treatment, etc. to help your child with their disability and be able to one day become as independent as they can be.
6. You are patient with them
You don’t have to be patient 24/7, but you have an unlimited amount of patience with them with therapy. You keep trying the same thing over and over and over again until they get it. You just keep going.
7. You get excited when they succeed
When your child finally gets a therapy goal, they have been working on for what feels like 10 years, you catch it on video, photo, FB lives, etc. You act like you just won the Academy Award. Their wins are your wins.
While it is good to know that you are a good mom, you need to know what a good mom is NOT. There are so many myths we place on being a good mom that just isn't attainable. You are still a Rockstar!!
What a good mom is NOT:
- Always patient
- Never yells
- Never loses her temper
- Always remembers every single appointment
- Can recall every single surgery/treatment with details, dates, and times
- Does therapy every single day
- Never stops to rest
- Never stops researching
You are an amazing mom!! You should be happy and proud of yourself. Being a special needs mom is challenging, but it changes you and enriches your life in a way you never thought possible!!!!
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