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You see children all over the place who seem to be farther along in their development than your child.  This child over here walked at 13 months.  The other child over there had a two-year-old’s vocabulary at 12 months old.  Why can’t your child be the one who is more advanced than all these other kids?  Why does your child have to go to countless therapy sessions just to come even close to being “on track”?  Why?

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Sometimes you can’t even think about scrolling through Facebook, because someone is going to post a proud parent moment and make you feel like the worst parent of the year!

Why can’t you just cope with your child’s developmental delays?  How do you get out of the comparison trap and just concentrate on YOUR child?

Here are four ways to help you get out of the rut and FINALLY start to cope with your child’s delays:

Know that it is normal and okay to be upset

Please know that it is completely normal and okay to be upset.  Your child isn’t progressing like you thought they should, or you thought they would be farther along than they should, and it upsets you.

It is OKAY to be upset.  I STILL get upset about my daughter and she is three.  Just before I wrote this post, I scrolled through Facebook and got frustrated because another little girl close to my daughter’s age is “farther along” than her.

These things will help you cope and not wallow in misery for the rest of your life.  These situations and feelings will keep coming up, but with a few coping mechanisms they won’t last as long as they do when your child is first diagnosed.

There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for

Even though it may look like your child is “behind”, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.  Trust me!!

Always appreciate what you have.  There is always someone out there who wishes they had what you have.

As someone who is naturally cynical and negative, I completely understand that this is soooo hard.  I get it.  But you HAVE to train yourself and your brain to be positive.  Your child may or may not be “behind” for a long time, and you need to learn how to cope with it and be more positive.

Your child NEEDS you to be positive.  They don’t want to constantly hear about what you wish they did.  Or if they just did X then you would be happy.

Your child’s delay does NOT make you a bad mom

I think that needs to be repeated to make sure it sinks in that hard head of yours, LOL!  Your child’s delay does NOT mean you are a bad mom.  I mean it!!  Your child’s ability to do or not do something does not mean you are a terrible mother.

Do not put the guilt on yourself.  You can just move forward and help your child with their therapy goals.  Wallowing in negative self-talk will get you nowhere.

Just keep going

Just keep going.  Persevere.  Just do it.  Just take it day by day.

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.  CS Lewis

We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough.  Helen Keller

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You HAVE to just keep going.  Put your big girl panties on and move on down the road.  Your child does not need you to give up.  Just have yourself a little pity party or cry fest and get over it.  Seriously…. just keep going.

The best thing you can do for yourself when your child has a developmental delay is to be positive.  It can be hard, but you can train yourself to do it.  Not that you won't have slip ups, but the pity parties will be a lot shorter and fewer in number over time.

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