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As a mother, you aren’t a stranger to grace. You give grace to everyone, but you. Grace, in the biblical sense, is “the state of kindness and favor toward someone, often with a focus on a benefit given to the object”, according to Christianity.com. Grace is being nice and kind to ourselves. You are nice and kind to everyone, but yourself.
You don’t give yourself grace, because you’re a perfectionist and you think you’re a bad mom. You pile all of these high expectations on yourself, say yes to every offer that comes your way, and when you “drop the ball”, you are mean to yourself. You beat yourself up, you’re hard on yourself, call yourself names, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
It is so important to treat yourself with grace, kindness, and compassion. So, what if you said something that you think is stupid? So, what if you’ve been yo-yo dieting for years and are still overweight? So, what if it took you twice as long to finish college or you didn’t even go to college at all? You’re still 100% worthy. Give yourself grace and treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
You have to truly love yourself and treat yourself nicely. Here's a filter I use in these types of scenarios when I am beating myself up or talking down to myself, I ask myself “Would I say these things to my daughter? Would I treat her like this?”. If the answer is no, you shouldn't be doing it to yourself.
You can use this as a filter to see if you're being mean to yourself. Most of the time you will know, but it can be super sneaky and be only slightly negative, but still pack a big punch.
You are worthy of being nice to yourself. You shouldn’t just be only nice to everyone else and not yourself. You deserve grace, kindness, and compassion too, Mama.
So, how do you take the steps to start showing yourself more grace?
Here are some tips and tricks to help you show yourself the grace you deserve:
1. Compliment yourself
Don’t be afraid to compliment yourself. You don’t need anyone else to do it for you. Not that you don’t want other people complimenting you, because who doesn’t? But when you compliment yourself and learn to love yourself and have a great relationship with yourself, it's much deeper and more meaningful. When you really love yourself and compliment yourself, it sticks with you longer vs when someone else does it it feels good for like 10 minutes, and then it goes away.
2. Practice Self-Care
Self-care is so important for everyone. Self-care is about loving yourself and not about superficial things like manis and pedis. It can be about that if that's what you like, but it's much deeper than that. It's about really loving yourself and taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. You can start an easy and simple self-care routine today. It doesn't have to take up a lot of your time and you can start small.
3. Thought Download
A thought download is another word for brain dump. It means you just take out a sheet of paper and write until all of the thoughts are out of your head and onto the piece of paper. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just write. Keep writing until you don’t have any more thoughts in your head. This helps you so much.
Your thoughts create your reality and your perception of what’s going on. Sometimes when you get your thoughts out on paper, you realize what you’re thinking and can immediately change. You also can realize things aren’t as big and bad as they seem in your head.
4. Ask yourself questions
Get out a journal, ask yourself questions, and write out the answers. This will help you give yourself grace and have more gratitude about the situation.
1. What did I learn from XYZ?
2. What does XYZ make possible?
This can help you snap out of your negative funk and stop being so hard on yourself.
5. Journal prompts
Journaling can help you a lot. It can help you get your thoughts out onto paper and out of your head. It's so mentally freeing. You realize what's going on in your head and can think differently. Your thoughts create your reality so knowing what's in your head is half the battle. I love journal prompts because they help you get started. A journal prompt is a question or topic and you have to write out what comes to mind. I have some free journal prompts for this in the free resource library.
It's so important to remember to give yourself grace, Mama. You are a wonderful mom who is 100% worthy. You don't need to complete any tasks, have a college degree, make a lot of money, have the smartest kid at school, or anything to be worthy. You were born worthy. Write it on a sticky note if that’s what it takes to get through to you. Write out “I am 100% worthy right now”.
Before you leave, don’t forget to stop by and get your free Journal Prompts for Special Needs Moms HERE. They will help you get out of your head so you can start showing yourself some grace!