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How many times have you felt guilty about your child’s disability?  I have felt guilty more times than I can count.  How do we get over mom guilt about disability?

My two and half year old daughter was born with spina bifida.

It is a disabling birth defect of the spinal cord (this is also known as a neural tube defect).

Experts say if you take folic acid before trying to become pregnant, your chances of having a baby with a neural tube defect will greatly decrease. 

Want to remember this?  Post this Letting Go of the Guilt From my Daughter’s Disability Article to your favorite Pinterest board!

I wish quite frankly, they would shut up about the folic acid.  It is not a fool-proof method for preventing spina bifida.

I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me, well did you take folic acid?  I heard spina bifida can be prevented by taking folic acid.

What I really want to say is you big fool, don’t you think if I had known about taking folic acid to prevent a neural tube defect, I would have done so?  You say stupid things like that is insinuating I asked for my child to have spina bifida.

Hearing idiotic things like this can be so disheartening.  It can make you feel so guilty.  I wasn’t taking a folic acid vitamin before I got pregnant with my daughter, although I was taking a prenatal vitamin with folic acid in it.

My daughter still got spina bifida.  Usually, people shut up when I say that.

Most people are just ignorant.  I hate to sound harsh, but this is the truth.

They read some stupid article from like 1922 that doesn’t even apply to today’s time and roll with it and say all kinds of stupid things.

Just ignore them.

Let me repeat that.

Just IGNORE them.

These people didn’t even know spina bifida existed before they heard your child has it.  They just went home and consulted with Dr. Google and now they are a self-proclaimed expert on spina bifida.  Just IGNORE them.

I can’t say that enough.  They are not you and they have no idea what they are talking about.

Let me tell you something really important.  Are you listening?

You DID NOT cause your child’s disability.

Your child is not disabled because you forgot to take a supplement or didn’t take the recommended dosage of a supplement. It is NOT your fault.

Let me assure you of one thing.  God is not punishing you by allowing your child to be disabled.

He didn’t check out and go out to lunch when my daughter’s spinal cord was being formed.  He didn’t “mess up”.

God doesn’t make mistakes.  Spina bifida occurs in 7 out of every 10,000 live births.  That means 9,993 people out of 10,000 have spinal cords that formed without spina bifida.

God knows exactly what he is doing.  He can make spinal cords very well and has a lot of practice.  He allowed my daughter to have spina bifida.

God doesn’t make mistakes.

Exodus 4:10-12  But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I have never been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”  Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” 

Psalm 139:14  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know full well.

Jeremiah 1:5  I knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations. 

Let these Bible verses sink in for a minute.

Everyone on this planet was created on purpose and with a purpose.  God has a plan for everyone’s life.  God created your sweet baby on purpose.

He allowed them to have the disability.  He didn’t check out when they were being created.  He was very much present.

I want you to do one thing right now.  Go stand in front of a mirror.  Look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself this: “My child’s disability is NOT my fault.  Today is the last day I will be tied down with guilt”.

How you made strides in getting rid of the guilt over your child’s disability?  Let me know in the comments below.

 

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