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If you are wondering why your goals are taking so long and why you have been stuck in this rut for so long, you probably have things holding you back that you didn’t even know. You aren’t making any traction and don’t know why. You have things holding you back. It’s hard for you to see the label from the inside of the jar (you can’t see your problems because you are in the middle of them). That happens to everyone. There are some common things that hold people back from their goals.
Here are 9 common things that hold people back from living their dream life and achieving their goals:
Perfectionism (according to Google) means refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. Most people think of perfectionism as a strength, but they are greatly mistaken. It is anything but a strength. Perfectionism will keep you from your dreams. Some of its negative side effects include burnout, stress, anxiety, depression, and workaholism. It usually presents itself in one of two ways: you procrastinate in your search for excellence or you avoid taking action for fear of failure. Either way perfectionism is full of inaction which doesn’t get you anywhere!
Perfectionism is the mother to procrastination. Procrastination means (according to Google) the action of delaying or postponing something. Most perfectionists procrastinate like crazy because they are waiting until the perfect timing to perfectly complete the task.
People procrastinate for one of 3 reasons:
1). They don’t know what to do.
2). They don’t know how to do it.
3). They don’t like doing it.
3. Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are sneaky because most people can’t spot them right off the bat. Let’s discuss the meaning of a belief. A belief is a thought you think over and over again until you believe it to be true. Beliefs shape your view of reality and the world. Limiting beliefs have an underlying negative component because they don’t actually help us. They hinder us from the things we want to accomplish in the future.
Examples of common limiting beliefs:
I will never be able to afford that.
I don’t make enough money.
I will never be able to find the time to do XYZ.
I will never be able to change my life.
I’ve gone this far without XYZ, so it probably just won’t happen for me.
4. Time Scarcity
When you are in time scarcity, you think there is never enough time. You are often overwhelmed, indulge in busyness, and procrastinate. You are in an endless cycle of believing there isn’t enough time. You can believe whatever you want to about time. So why not believe something that serves you like, there is always enough time?
Examples of time scarcity:
- I don’t have enough time.
- I’m always going to be busy.
- This is just life now; everyone is busy these days.
- I always feel rushed.
- I’m always late to everything anyway.
One way to combat time scarcity is by planning out your day. Planning day makes you realize how much time you actually have, and time isn’t scarce. It forces you to realize how much time you are wasting and that you do actually have time to meet those therapy goals.
5. Money Scarcity
Money scarcity is the belief that there isn’t enough money. Money is neutral. It doesn’t have meaning until you give it meaning. You can just believe there is always enough money available to you.
Example of money scarcity:
- We can’t afford that.
- I will never make more than X per year.
- I don’t have enough money for my bills.
Self-worth how you feel about yourself. Do you have high self-esteem or not? Most women have a negative view of themselves (especially perfectionists). Low self-worth can look like you don’t follow through with things, you don’t make goals, or you don’t make the time for a self-care routine, because you don’t think you are worth it. You beat yourself up and tell yourself things you would never tell out loud to another human.
Self-worth is everything. If you can’t take yourself seriously and don’t think you’re worthy, how do you think anyone else can? How does having this outlook help you achieve your goals?
Forms of self-sabotage:
Having a victim mentality is when you think you are a victim of the negative actions of other people. This is bad news because you can’t fix other people and when the “problem” is the other person, it means you are stuck. Other people can think, do, and act how they want to because they are adults. Most of the time you are in the victim mentality and don’t even know it.
Signs of a victim mentality
- You blame others for your results
- You make excuses
- You take on the view “It’s not my fault”
- You feel powerless
- You think that life happens to you
- You think you have a “right” to complain
- You think nothing ever works out for you
- You enjoy feeling sorry for yourself
Mommy martyrdom is rampant in our culture today. You think you have to look ragged everywhere you go. You have to live in yoga pants and a messy bun. It’s like you have to have a dirty house and paper and clutter piled up all over the place in order to be a good mom. You jokingly call yourself a “hot mess mom”. If you don’t do any of these things, it’s because you spend “too much time” on yourself and not your kids. It means you are high maintenance and a bad mom.
Let me break it to you: you don’t have to drink wine every night, wear sweatpants every day, stay in a messy bun day after day in order to be a good mom and more importantly (at least to you), convince others you are a good mom.
9. Unclear Priorities
You have to get crystal clear on your priorities. When you don’t know what your priorities are, you let other people’s priorities dictate your life. You let other people tell you what your schedule should look like and what you should do. You let other people run your life. When you get crystal clear on your priorities with yourself, you can make time for them first and then fill everyone and everything else in AFTER YOUR priorities are scheduled. You take care of your house first other people’s house.
You don’t have to let these things dictate your life and hold you back from the future you want and crave. You can kick these things to the curb to cultivate and live a life you love. You don’t have to keep any of these things in your life if you don’t want to.
Don’t let society and other people dictate your life. Start today by loving yourself and getting clear on your priorities.
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