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You try to be perfect. You try to be wonder woman to everyone. The best baker. The best team mom. The best wife. The best mom. The best employee. The best church volunteer. You want to be everything to everyone. You like when people depend on you and need your help. It makes you feel important and needed. Let me tell you one thing. If you don’t hear anything else in this entire post, listen to this. You can’t be everything to everyone.
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Let that sink in for a minute. Did you hear me? Do I need to repeat that?
You can’t be everything to everyone.
Why can’t you be everything to everyone?
You can’t be everything to everyone and do a good job. You can choose to be a mediocre baker, church volunteer, team mom, room mom, employee, you name it.
Or you can quit trying to be the best baker and start buying your cookies from the Wal-Mart bakery. Who cares? I mean, if that offends someone, tell them to bake their own cookies.
Define your priorities
Have you defined your priorities? I mean if you are an awesome cook and love to bake, then go right ahead and bake some homemade cookies.
But if you hate cooking and you bake cookies anyway, STOP! Just go to Wal-Mart and get some out of the bakery. Seriously! If that offends someone, who cares?? Stop forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do or don’t have time to do because you think it is expected of you.
If you aren’t fond of being around 9 million little second graders, why are you a room mom? I mean, why do you force yourself to do things that aren’t in your genius zone that you hate doing in order to impress people? It is so exhausting.
Who or what are your priorities? If you don’t care about homemade baked goods, buy them already made from the store. If church is really important to you and you have the time, then volunteer. What are your priorities?
Stop forcing yourself to do things you don’t really like doing to fit a mold! You are one in a million. There is no way for anyone to be you. Be you! You are enough.
If you hate baking cookies or aren’t fond of being around 9 million children, then stop and don’t feel guilty for it!
Don’t be afraid to say no
If you don’t want to do something, if you don’t like something, or if something goes against your priorities, just say no!!
Don’t be afraid to say no. Stop letting people have such a big say so in your life!
If you take Sundays for family day, turn down a baby shower invite. If you are inclined, you can just send your regrets and still send a gift. Stop doing things you don’t want to do or that go against your priorities in life!!
Life is too short. Learn to say no and don’t be afraid!
If you don’t want to be a room mom, decline!! Don’t be afraid of disappointing someone. Just say no.
Twenty years in the future, will it matter that you didn’t like baking homemade cookies with your kids when you hate baking? NO!! Just do whatever you value and is important to you and don’t apologize for it! You don’t have to answer to the PTSO!!
Get burnt out
If you keep saying yes and trying to be everything to everyone, you will get burnt out quick!!
Just say no! Say you are obsessed with baking cookies. It brings you so much joy to bake for your loved ones. You love it so much, it doesn’t even seem like work.
But if you HATE baking, the idea of baking cookies makes you want to scream. You just get tired just thinking about doing it. It takes way more energy to do things you don’t want to do than to do something you love doing. When you love doing something, it gives you energy. When you do something you hate, it drains you.
Doesn’t serve a purpose
Trying to be everything to everyone does not serve a purpose. You need to make yourself happy first!
Figure out what your priorities and values are and go in deep on them. Don’t worry about everything else.
If you really value family time, try to cultivate a deeper relationship with your husband and kids. That will give you more purpose, energy, and happiness.
That will help you fill really fulfilled.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. It doesn’t serve you and it will only drain your energy. You will not have the energy for the things that really matter the most to you. Stop trying to impress people and worry about fulfilling your values and priorities. Stop trying to force yourself to do all these things that you don’t value and/or you don’t want to do.