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As moms, we try to be perfect all of the time. We set these high unmeetable expectations and then beat ourselves up when we don’t meet them. We can feel like a failure more often than we care to admit. You see “perfect” moms everywhere on Instagram and Pinterest. We get disappointed because we aren’t Pinterest Perfect. You think in order to be a perfect mom, you have to dress nice 24/7, never yell, have $1,000+ birthday parties, be sweet as sugar 24/7, etc. We have all of these preconceived notations of perfection and then we beat ourselves up when we fall short.
Everyone is perfect in their own way.
- Do you breastfeed your child? Perfect!
- Do you give your child formula? Perfect!
- Do you make your own baby food? Perfect!
- Do you buy store-bought baby food? Perfect!
- Do you send your child to daycare? Perfect!
- Do you stay at home with your children? Perfect!
All of these examples of good mamas. They are all doing what’s best for their child and their family.
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Here are a few different viewpoints to look at when you find yourself wishing you were perfect:
1. Would you rather totally rock out on a handful of things and do them well or be mediocre at a lot of things?
You are good at things. Maybe you bake the best homemade cupcakes. Maybe you have a way of making everyone feel special. Maybe you never forget anyone’s birthday. Maybe you always give the best gifts. Feel free to do you! Nobody does you like you do!
2. Every mom beats themselves up
Every mom (even the ones who look Pinterest Perfect) moms beat themselves up for not being perfect. That woman you see that looks like she has her stuff together in the drop offline beats herself up too. That woman that has the elaborate kid’s birthday parties beats herself up too.
- Stop comparing yourself and your family to others.
- Some families eat dinner together. Some don’t.
- Some families go on 4 family vacations a year. Some don’t.
- Some moms work full-time. Some don’t.
- Some moms stay at home full-time. Some don’t.
Everyone needs to do wants best for them and their families. Don’t compare yourselves to them.
What to do when you’re feeling critical of yourself:
1. Remember you are a good mom.
You love your family so much. Just because you don’t bake homemade cupcakes doesn’t make you imperfect or a bad mom.
2. You do several things very well.
Think about when someone compliments you. You do get compliments. You do things very well. When someone compliments you, keep a note of it. Make a note in your phone on the Notes app and write down when people compliment you. You can look at this when you are feeling down and realize you are perfect just the way you are.
3. Know you are going to make mistakes and you are still worthy and a good mom.
When you make a mistake (cause you’re human after all), know that you are still worthy and a great mom. People are human and make mistakes all of the time. The only way to not make a mistake is by not trying.
4. You are not perfect, and that’s okay.
You are still 100% worthy. Your worth isn’t determined by your level of perfection. You are a wonderful mom and you don’t need to be perfect. Furthermore, your kids or husband aren’t expecting perfection either.
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